Endings and Beginnings…

We’ve been in the middle of absolute chaos while we attempt to get our house ready to sell. We’re a little behind when we originally wanted to already have it listed….LIFE happens.

Meanwhile, I’ve had to let go of a few ideas and things I’d planned to do myself. Like painting. And focus (as I should) on taking care of my babies and big kids. There are some things only mama can do. Other things like painting? Others can do.

So, we decided to have painters come and take care of the two big kids rooms. Rooms I’d spent hours painting for my kids.

(I knew one day we’d have to repaint over it all, but I don’t have to like the idea. And I don’t. But I’m dealing)

The night before the painters were to come, my oldest boy and I sat together on the floor of his room, lights out, and just stared at the glow in the dark world I’d painted on his walls one last time.

So.many.emotions rushed through me. There are so many memories in this house!

Almost 12 years of our almost 14 years married, we’ve lived here. Brought all four kiddos home to this house.

The highs. The lows….the immense joys and the gutting sorrows. I can recall so many of these life events. So very many have happened here.

As we sat in the dark, tears began to sting my eyes. My son heard me sniffle….and he asked if I was okay.


“yeah, I’m okay. Just a lot of memories”


“I know mom, me too”




Rooms will be painted, selling will happen and a new house with new memories to make will begin….



Being THAT Mom at the Playground

So….I was THAT mom the other day at the playground.

THAT mom of THAT kid. The kid at school who sometimes has behavioral issues due to special needs.

My spunky little girl that I adore sometimes has some trouble navigating the social waters at school. It’s a challenge and we’re doing what we can to help. OT/PT/Speech…etc.

So, without going into major details, she simply has difficulty at times. Especially on the social front of things.

Yet, at the same time, whenever I walk to pick her up from school and we walk home together? At least three kids will stop and run over to hug her or shout a joyful HELLO! to her.

Clearly, she seems well liked.

The other day we decided to trek up to the park and play after school. As we got closer to the playground I could see a couple other moms and their kids there. I think I actually let out an audible sigh of dread. Sometimes these situations don’t work out well for my daughter.

I could see at least 1 or 2 kiddos were around Sunshine’s age. And as we walked towards the playground, the one child turned to her mother, pointed over at my daughter and I, just being in earshot, heard the words “mommy, thats the mean girl”.


The mother quickly hushed her daughter and looked my direction. I could tell she was hoping I didn’t hear. I did. It stung.

It was quickly awkward and there was no where to hide. What was said was said and what was heard was heard.

This is not the first time this has happened and I know it will not be the last.

I know children will be children. I know Sunshine will be Sunshine. But I also know her and see her and how amazingly far she’s come.

Sunshine is not intentionally mean. She has Sensory Processing Disorder (as well as a myriad of other things we’re still figuring out)and sometimes lashes out in situations at school. Specifically recess/PE/music. We’re working on putting strategies in place to assist her and help to prevent the meltdowns. But, regardless they happen and not everyone is understanding.

And I get it. I get why others find her difficult at times. I understand…I really do. I don’t like it when other children hit or shove my kids either.

Back at the park…..

Sunshine and my oldest boy ran over to the swings and played there for a bit. The other mothers chatted and I sat on one of the benches a little farther away. But I could not get far enough away to escape the awkwardness of the situation.

I was THAT mom of THAT kid and it hurt. I felt uncomfortable and alone on that bench just then. It was truly awkward.

Then something pretty amazing happened. The other little girl, on her very own, went over to my girl and asked to play together.

(truth be told, I was secretly worried she was going to run over and tell my kid off about some previous playground altercation…)

And off they went! Just like that.

They ran around and played on the swings and climbed on the monkey bars and all the things that kids do.

It was awesome.

I sometimes wish as adults we could act more like kids. Seeing through the complicated things and learning to see the person, not just their actions. I don’t know, somehow I think the world would be a much nicer place to play if we could all put on kid glasses and see the world a little less jaded. Don’t you think?

The Spring Break That Wasn’t So Much…

Last week was our spring break here. And oddly enough, it caught me completely off guard.

I know. How could I forget about spring break? A whole week of kids home. I’m supposed to make plans and things right??

Ha! Yeah. That didn’t happen.

What did happen was me saying something about school the following week and my oldest telling me there wasn’t any. Then me looking confused and him going “mom, it’s SPRING BREAK”.

Oh. That.

Then of course WE ALL GOT SICK.

We did. Well, all except my husband and oldest, thankfully. It started with the littlest, then it got the oldest girl, then my youngest boy…then me. Yay.

So, we started off our spring break sick. It was pretty miserable for all. And in the midst of all of it…we’re in the middle of chaos trying to get our house ready to sell.

I know. I KNOW!

{I’m pretty sure I MIGHT lose my mind trying to attempt this with 4 kids, two of them being twinfants}

Meanwhile….we had to go to the doctor. I won’t go into details about that because it ended up with one of my babies having ear issues and was all awful and tearful (mainly me) and just yuck.

BUT, in the waiting room with all six of us where it is likely we would draw a little bit of attention (because that is life apparently with 4 kids, 2 being twins…people stare. And ask lots of questions….)

There was this lady. She saw us, gasped, and my heart sank as she started coming towards us. I just knew it was going to be one of THOSE encounters….the kind we always get when we’re out and about.

Ya know, the invasive in your face “are they ALL yours?!?!” the “did you do IVF??” or the  “Wow….you sure have your hands FULL!”

But no. This lady did not ask or say any of that. Instead she started out with “You have such a beautiful family!”

What?! I’m pretty sure my jaw dropped. I wasn’t expecting such kindness. And I felt like crap, so theres that.

Then she went on to say “boy/girl twins? They are precious! What are their names?”

I said their names. And instead of getting the “wow, never heard that name (for baby girl), it’s so different (or odd or is that a color?)”…..nope. She said “wow, I LOVE it! What a beautiful name! And his so handsome”

I was in shock I think. Who WAS this woman? Then she went on to say “you must have a lot of fun at home! how blessed you are”.

I almost jumped up and hugged her and thanked her for such words. And I’m pretty sure I would have if she hadn’t been hobbling on crutches.

But seriously, SHE MADE MY DAY! I smiled wide and thanked her. I know she has no idea how much she blessed me and my family with her words. Encouraging beautiful words that this weary mama SO needed to hear on the that day.

So, spring break. It kinda stunk in the fun activities department, but the lady in the waiting room seriously helped reset my emotional and mental status for the rest of the week.

Seriously, if more people could have such encouraging words for others, I think the harder days would be made just a smidge brighter….don’t you think?!

{And thankfully we’re all on the path to being healthy once again.}