Blogging Between The Babies

It’s funny how you can have an idea in your head, and you’re desperate to write it out, type it out, or however you best get an idea out of your head and more in the direction of actually happening.

And there you sit, with a baby in your arms, or a toddler in your lap reading the same book for the 37th time in a row…and you. are. trapped.

Don’t dare think of getting up to write this out, or take out your phone to jot it down to try and jog your memory later…

Nope.

It’ll have to wait, sorry.

Sometimes I have a spare minute or four and I will attempt to get SOMETHING accomplished and type a few lines of a post out, or jot a to-do down. But, then little footsteps can be heard and it means I have to quickly shut the computer, and toss the bag of dark chocolate back into it’s hiding spot as to not be caught with it…or I’ll have to share.

{and chocolate and toddlers together? chaos}

Annnd, I get back to things and maybe, just maybe I grab another spare minute to try and type more out, or {gasp!} actually publish a post!

This? This is, quite often, what happens in my day to day life. I have all kinds of plans and to do’s and blogging ideas in my head I very much want to get out onto a screen, but…life happens. And sometimes, by the time all the littles are taken care of and safely tucked into bed, and all the others to-dos are mostly done, I am ready to just collapse into bed and get SOME sleep before one {or both} babies decides to wake at some un-godly hour of the night.

And, as much as I love blogging {hello, it’s totally my therapy..}, this isn’t a paying gig. Although, that would totally rock if it did, right?! I mean, there might be an affiliate link here or there, but that’s not really going to pay for my kids college…

If this blogging thing ever led to more, awesome! But, for now, I am taking care of littles. And I refuse to blog over taking care of these tiny humans, that will one day be all grown up and out in the vast world being the next generation.

So, I blog between the taking care of twin toddlers, two older kiddos, running around to therapy appointments for my oldest girl and general household {is the laundry MULTIPLYING before my eyes??} things.

Such is life. And I’m learning to be OK with it.

The Crumbs Really Don’t Matter

I’ve seen several sad things on my personal FB feed the past couple weeks. Things that make me cry, get angry and go “God, I really REALLY don’t get it”.

My heart is aching for so many. Things I cannot fix. Things I wish I could. Things I know prayer, support and encouragement is what I CAN do and that I CAN give.

And sometimes in the monotony of life, that day in and day out of laundry and cleaning, and cleaning, and laundry…

I think about how I haven’t seen so and so for a while and go “I should TOTALLY invite them over for coffee!”

Then, I look around me and laugh. Because, I have twin toddlers and those two alone take every waking minute of my time to take care of. And I can barely keep up with the crumbs and chasing after the now UNfolded laundry I was about to take upstairs…that is now strewn throughout the family room.

And I go “ha! who am I kidding! My house is a wreck and seriously…do I really have TIME to try and visit?! There is so much to get done before the bus arrives and if I stop to take care of entertaining then my day will get shot!….and, OH MY GOSH, have you seen my house?! Yeah, that’s a crazy idea.”

So do people really care about the little crumbs? Are they going to think that I never clean up? Well, no, I do, and they probably don’t care.

If someone comes over to my house and sees pine needles from our Christmas tree {that JUST made it out to the curb last week…} would they wonder “wow, she’s messy…does she really not have the time to sweep up a few pine needles?”. Well, you should’ve seen the actual tree hanging out there for almost a month.
{and NO, currently I have NOT had the time to sweep up the needles…I have twin toddlers. I need to feed them before I do that. They eat a lot}

Then I laugh, wondering what WOULD that person {or a person} think about seeing that tree still there. Would they really truly care? Would they really think I’m a disaster of a person for not having it all together?

OR, would they go “wow, she’s got her hands full with twin toddlers, I wonder if she could use my help?! And WOW, look at that awesome turquoise door!”.

{I actually do have a turquoise painted front door. And I love it}

In all seriousness, I would hope that seeing such craziness would intrigue someone enough to want to get to know me as a person better, not judge me. But, then it made me wonder about ME. Do I judge others without even realizing it??

Do I think about the random tree that hasn’t gotten to the curb, or the minuscule amount of crumbs on someones floor? Or the baseboards with a layer or two of dust on them?

I surely hope I do not. Because really? Life is far TOO short to worry about those things. And the past few weeks have been a reminder to me about how I myself really need to focus on the now. And the people in my life and neighbors…and WHO CARES about the tree and the crumbs!

Because as I have gotten older, and had more children, I really don’t care. I care about my children being fed and taken care of and having clean clothes and such. I care about their well being. I yes, I do clean and I DO make sure to try my best to be an example by taking care of what we have. And yes, you WILL see toys and books scattered about my house if you come to visit, even though I’ve tidied them up several times. You might see a stray baby sock tossed under the sofa that escaped the laundry basket as I took it upstairs and PUT THE LAUNDRY AWAY.

So, as a note more to myself than anything, STOP focusing on that stray sock. Or that tossed about toy or book. You didn’t see that person just sweep up the crumbs only for them to be there AGAIN 5 seconds later.

Does it REALLY MATTER? Or does the person you are visiting matter?

{The person. It’s the person that matters}

Does It Get Easier?

I often get asked by twin mamas to be or those within the first year, “does it get easier?”….

Well, here’s a little glimpse into my day. Now, this is not everyday necessarily, but most days right now in twin toddlerhood.

Yesterday I stayed home with the twinnies while The Mr. took the two big kiddos to church with him.

My baby boy had acquired a lovely cough that turned out to be bronchitis and a nice little ear infection.

Ugh.

And this JUST coming off having croup. Seriously, this mama and my baby boy just can’t catch a break!

BUT

But, regardless of how not great he was feeling, there was still PLENTY of energy between the twinnies.

You guys. It was comical. Or chaotic. Or both.

They have acquired ALL KINDS of new skills….like climbing in and out of chairs.

And then onto the table.

::blink::blink::

Yeah. SO, before I could even THINK of taking a sip of coffee, one baby climbed up onto the table, while the other went straight for the trash and grabbed the k-cup I’d just tossed in there. My one baby has a serious fascination with those things.

{now I should say, our trash bins are located INSIDE a cabinet and pulls out. It’s handy and convenient and I love it. And most of the time, the babies DON’T bother it and even help me throw actual trash away…just sometimes they prefer to EMPTY it.I know.}

SO, I grabbed one baby off the table, then took care of the k-cup stealing baby that had shaken the coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor. Again.

While I attended to cleaning THAT up, they toddled into the family room and messed with some buttons on one of the speaker dealy’s.

{Yes, I have EXTREMELY high tech language. I know.}

Soooo…yeah. Buttons. I’ll let daddy handle that one…Surprise honey! I don’t know why whatever it is isn’t working. Ask the babies!

And total confession:
I haven’t known how to work our television in forever. My husband is awesome and technologically gifted and does cool things with the tv and stuff. Cool stuff that I cannot keep up with. It’s sad. So, I gave up long ago….good thing is, my oldest DOES know how to work things. Thankfully. And honestly, I hardly ever watch TV. For real, it’s like I’m not even from this generation. Or it could be that I just prefer riding my bike, playing legos with my kiddos and writing and crafting to watching TV. Which I do.

Anyway, where was I….

Oh yeah. Buttons.

Then after redirecting the twinnies BACK into the kitchen, and starting on a batch of muffins, I see my baby girl eating a muffin.

{hmmm}

I think to myself “daddy fed them breakfast. It must be from then. But I see some left over all over the floor…I should probably sweep that up..” So, I get to sweeping and realize that I am cleaning up eggs. That’s right, I remember, daddy made scrambled eggs for them for breakfast. Maybe he gave them a muffin too. Yeah, that’s it. I bet that’s what he did.

Nope.

I texted to see what exactly he’d given them. He texted back eggs. No muffins mentioned.

Yeah…so…

On to making those muffins. While doing so, I look up to see baby girl has a straw and lid from a cup. I do not know WHERE she got these items. So, I go to get them from her and while doing so I step on a lego.

Actually, it was a duplo. But whatever. It hurt. And if you follow me along over on Facebook, you know the story already…

It ended with me discovering that my baby girl can now apparently OPEN TIED TRASH BAGS.

Great.

THEN…then as I popped the muffins in the oven, I see the babies toddle into the pantry. Which is also the laundry.

I needed to start the next round on the cloth diapers, so I cleaned up from the muffins and then headed toward the laundry.

It really was like a MINUTE. Probably less.

Those darling little toddlers decided the cat food would be fun to mess with. Like, put the cat FOOD into the cat WATER. Then when I said “oh, lets not put it into the water…”, baby boy decided to try and take it back out.

Yuck.

Meanwhile, his twin sister was playing pile cat food into little plastic container she’d found and then DUMP it all back out.

Yay.

SO, we clean up that, I place cat food {and water} out of reach and take care of the diapers. And we all exit the laundry room.

I think I shut the door. I did not.

SOOO

Crash.

{uh oh…}

Cat food container. Dumped over.

::blink::blink::

So, the question… “does it get easier?”…

I cannot speak for all twin mamas out there, and I am certain my fellow twin mamas that have been at this a little longer probably have way better advice than I, but I am going to say kind of…

There WILL be a day that you are not so much in survival mode, but more like get-your-running-shoes on mode to chase after them. There WILL be a day that it doesn’t all seem like such a blur of breastfeeding {or bottle or both} and constant diaper changes and where you get more than 1 hour of consecutive sleep.

There WILL be a day that you feel like you *almost* have your two legs under you enough to feel like you know somewhat what you’re doing.

But, I’m not so sure I can say it get’s better. More like….it gets different.

Instead of feeling like a dairy cow {all those hours of nursing…}, I feel like I’m daily running a marathon or playing a game of chase.

It’s still exhausting, but a different kind of exhausting.

So, take heart. It does sorta get better. More different, but always awesome.

Definitely awesome.

The Quest For Enough

It’s just not working…

I had this idea that I’d gotten rid of so much stuff.

We’d purged plenty, really, so much we’d given away, donated, passed on to others that could use it. Yet, there are still mounds of *crap*

WHY???

I had this idea that we’d unload the truck, everything would go in it’s place, I’d find the time to hang pictures or get the craft and play area set up while the twinnies took naps…

{Ha! That’s really funny}

But…things have not exactly gone as I’d thought.

And we moved SIX months ago.

Granted, I had surgery, my husband had a kidney stone {in the middle of the move}, the twins got sick…and that was all in the first month of having moved.

So yeah, working on that whole GRACE thing here.

And here we are, six months later and I just counted laundry baskets.

Random, I know.

How many laundry baskets do you have?

I mean, it seems we have a rather excessive amount of them hanging about here and I think I should be embarrassed at just how many there are. Even with being a family of six, I just think there are too many…

And they are NOT all filled with laundry!

I intend for them to be filled with laundry. Two of them are.

A couple of others are filled with clothes, but not clothes that are being used. A lot of it are clothes the twinnies have outgrown that I am processing through to give away and pass on.

But, it still bugs me. The stuff.

Not that I am not grateful for the stuff. I am. I am very thankful for all the clothes passed to us from others and it’s been great.

I think it’s just the actual volume. Looking at so much stuffed into unused laundry baskets.

It reminds me of the excess we are trying to simplify in our lives. To rid ourselves of.

It’s a process, I know. And I know we are in a season in our lives of constant change and rotation of clothing for our kiddos that grow out of things faster than I can sort through for them to wear!

Which brings me to more simplifying. There is only so much room in their closets. In all of our closets. And I do not intend on maxing it out.

I simply do not want to. Nor do I want to do that much laundry!

But it’s not just laundry. So many things in our lives are just stuffed too much. And unused. And I don’t like it.

I don’t want unused things taking up space. I want what is in our house to be used and loved and have a place to go when it’s not being used.

My Gramma always said the old saying of “use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without”.

Yes. I absolutely agree.

The quest for “enough”. My word for the year. Working on E N O U G H . Not more, not less, but enough.

How about you, are you trying to simplify things in your life? Any tips you can pass along?

Ready

I’m sitting by the glow of the christmas tree one last time…before it’s taken down and all the special ornaments are tucked away until next December. I love this tree. I’ve loved a lot about the slowing down we did this season. Intentionally taking things back to a manageable level. It’s been nice.

But, I also have to be honest….as much as I’d like to say the past couple weeks of Winter Break have been amazing and fabulous and spectacular….

I’d be lying.

I love the idea of having the bigs off for a little bit, the relaxed schedules, no early rising to catch the bus, or pack lunches, or sign off on homework.

But, we also really, really miss the schedule.

We still have to keep things fairly structured with my oldest daughter and, of course, with the babies schedules. Because, lets be honest….no one pays more than the parents when littles schedules get mucked up.

And really, the schedules pretty much went out the window once the twinnies got sick. It’s been like a round the clock party of late…NOT good for the parents.

I love the idea, but I long for the schedules to get back to what they were.

Yet I don’t.

This past year flew by so quickly. I mean, it really, really did.

My oldest will be heading to middle school next year. And I am just SO not ready for that. But…he is.

It took me a while to figure out why I wasn’t quite ready to let go of 2014.

Then I realized, it meant being forced to face that 2015 was going to literally zoom to summer time. And I know it will. Suddenly it will be valentines day, then spring break….

And before I know it, the end of the school year will be approaching faster than I can comprehend it. And with it? 5th grade graduation.

Then the twins second birthdays.

CANNOT even wrap my head around that. I just can’t.

I can literally feel the years slipping through…going faster and faster.

I realized this past Christmas? Was one of EIGHT I have left with my oldest before he heads off to college and beyond.

EIGHT. Seems like a lots of years, but oh how short it truly is when count just 8 Christmases. So many things to do together, so many memories to make.

I want to do so many things with my kiddos, but also not too much. I want to focus on memory making moments, but not so much we crowd out what is truly important….it’s not about HOW MUCH we can fit into the days, but the quality. The enoughs, so-to-speak.

Yes, live life FULL. But also allowing those moments to simply be, be just that. BE together, BE available.

In so many ways I am just not ready for all 2015 has in store for me. Yet, at the same time I am.

::Deep breath::

Exhale….

Let the life changing amazingness begin.